On Friday, January 31st, a new dish of the Russian car market - the Aston Martin DBX crossover - was presented in an informal and friendly atmosphere. I am sure that you have already read the critical notes about this event in various variations. Distinguished by a biased attitude towards the British brand, I refuse to repeat other people's abusive epithets, but rather I will tell you about food and entertainment.
Responsibly I declare - they were fed well, and the scale of the event can be envied by corporate parties of state monopolies, that very fertile time when the leading finger had not yet indicated the inappropriateness of chic at public expense.
With a modest sales volume (no more than 30 new Aston Martin coupes are sold in Russia per year), no less than two hundred connoisseurs of the British brand were invited. Your humble servant was unexpectedly awarded this honor.
To the accompaniment of a lovely, in all respects, DJ girls, French red combined with venison and ham, and white and sparkling, and what was not there … The
event promised to be tasty, funny and relaxed, but only before that moment until the main hero of the occasion appeared to the dances with tambourines.
Many guests fell silent in surprise, some sat down in mute bewilderment. Popular bloggers, having swallowed the remains of venison, looked around suspiciously. In the darkness of the huge hall, in the place reserved for the novelty, a black hole gaped.
"Hijacked" - I thought. "Deceived" - thought the bloggers. "Fed, and thanks for that!" - thought the glamorous girls. And only Eric Davidovich, without thinking about anything, climbed to fumble in the dark with his hands and fumbled for a black DBX. Magic and sleight of hand!
What a perverse mind it was decided to use a copy of this color for the first presentation - I don't know. But guys! What's wrong? You can't make the first impression a second time! Bring a red car. Blue! White! Anyone! But black on black? You were shown the Brigada TV series as the Russian equivalent of bondinana and you decided that nothing has changed in 20 years?
Later, when all the venison and jamon were eaten, and the bloggers finished studying the trunks, exhaust pipes and other, most important parts of the English SUV, it was the turn of ordinary mortals.
Disappointment and decay. Even the beauty of the invited fans of the brand, the sparkle of their large diamonds and expensive watches could not properly set off the DBX.
No, he was not ugly, by no means. It does not cause rejection and negative emotions. The Aston Martin crossover is neither truly beautiful nor truly cool. And you can't even call it ambiguous.
It is absolutely faceless, dull and gray, like the winter sky over Moscow. The Aston Martin DBX does not look sexy, unlike the girls present, and allow the compliments reserved for the crossover, give everything to them.
One thing is certain - in the new Bond series, which will be released on April 7, we will see Daniel Craig in the brand's first crossover, but I really hope so - a housewife from China will not become a Bond girl.
At some point, warmed up in the rays of female attention, the chief designer of Aston Martin Marek Reichman was honored to ask our opinion about his own creation and was stunned by the frank answer.
- So you did it, - asked one of the fans of the brand, - Why? How could you even create THIS from such a beautiful 2015 concept? Blasphemy and mockery of the Aston Martin heritage. Didn't the DB9 design stretch over the four-wheel drive platform? It's not an owl and a globe, it's not that complicated!
And I frankly felt sorry for the girl-translator looking for these metamorphic idioms in the stocks of her Oxford English.
This was the 2015 concept.
Having recovered from the first shock, Marek, we must give him his due, bravely entered into a reasoned duel. The executive vice president of the brand, Thomas Kiesele, has also joined the support group.
As a result of 40 minutes of lively discussion, I can definitely say that they are desperate guys, but nice and interesting. And they defended their generous employer with dignity. Respect! I was forced to sell the transcript of the conversation to a well-known publication, but I will share with you a few facts gleaned in the process of dialogue:
1. The crossover is aimed at new buyers, wealthy people, of Asian (mainly Chinese) origin, who have never owned other Aston Martin models and have not having a clear and well-established understanding of its design and traditions. Hence the insipid average design with many borrowings - from Cayenne to Renault (God forgive me!). No special stake is placed on Russia, sorry guys.
2. The main feature of the car is not its exterior design, but its behavior on the road. Representatives of the brand say the DBX rides and drives amazingly. I really hope so, to be honest. Although which of today's premium crossovers is poorly driven? The main difference from the Cayenne and other Urus is the unique "cart", and not the use of a corporate platform from cheaper brothers. A weak argument, frankly.
And in conclusion, for dessert, already a frank insider.
1. There is a high probability that there will be no model with V12 at all, according to surveys of potential buyers, they just do not need it.
2. There is a possibility of the appearance of a two-door model, whose first Russian copy was immediately offered to your humble servant. And did I have the right to refuse?
Your move, Mr. Bond!
Not to say that he is a handsome man, but at least it becomes visible.
And at the back, in decent color, it doesn't look so much like Renault.
PS It is reported that DBX will not be in the new film, as well as housewives from Asia!
The complaints book is at the administration.